External Validation Killed My Sentence
Most people don’t realize this.
They just assume they need to work harder.
The funny thing is that these normal, quiet emotions, comparison, admiration, self-doubt, kill our creativity more than we realize.
If you’re still here, come with me as I tell you my experience.
Just yesterday, while scrolling through Substack, I came across an essay written by Omotolani Adesanya (“My friend calls me a witch”). It was poetic. Impactful. Her words were beautifully put together.
Immediately, I said to myself, “I’m going to be able to write like this.”
That was the moment admiration began.
And to be honest, I had admired Omotolani before—especially from TikTok. But this time felt different. This admiration carried a subtle hint of low self-esteem and a quiet lack of confidence in myself, though I didn’t realize it yet.
Fast forward to today.
I already had an inspiration, clear, alive, ready to be written.
And then—Gbam!
.
“When Omotolani sees this writing, will she like it?”
Just like that, the inspiration disappeared.
I couldn’t write a single thing.
What shocked me wasn’t the writer’s block. It was how the mere thought of Omotolani—someone I admire was enough to kill my creativity. In that moment, I realized something important: I wasn’t just admiring her anymore. I had invited her into my head. I had given her a seat in my creative process, allowing her unintentionally to judge every sentence before it even existed.
And creativity cannot survive under surveillance.
Glory to God I realized this quickly. If I hadn’t, the road back to my own voice wouldn’t have been an easy walk in the park.
It’s Samuel, once again.
Great work, continue doing the great work.
Sincerely, I am short of words.
Thank you so much for the admiration. Reading this after a stressful day gave my heart so much joy and had me smiling. I couldn't do anything else in that moment.
I must commend that you write so beautifully. The way you weld your words to address something you called a weakness up to the point you provided an optimistic ending was superb.
One thing I'll say is I'm not perfect. I write just like you do. It's not magic. It's just writing as it flows.
Reading your write-up shows that you can do something way better than mine. I'm not being a motivational speaker here. I am just stating plain facts.
Once again, I really appreciate this. Thank you💜.
PS: do leave a like on my posts so I'll know you read it. T for thanks😂